COUGH! Cough, cough!
It’s cold and ‘flu season.
It’s also school holidays and the grandchildren have arrived from Perth.
Instead of flowers on the kitchen window sill, we now have every cough potion and snake oil imaginable.
From Vitamin C and garlic pills to Echinacea, zinc, ginger and elderberry, each brew promises to be the best tonic ever.
There is also a line up of sprays, throat gargles and lozenges on the kitchen bench below.
The fruit bowl is full of lemons and the fridge seems to contain more than a year’s supply of orange and pear juice.
A hacking sound erupts near a pile of Lego in the lounge room.
Cough, cough, cough!
Besides the crackly cough, poor little grandson Felix has few other symptoms of cold or ‘flu.
Suddenly a hissing sound.
Now the whole house smells like a 108 year old eucalypt forest.
Daughter Trixi slams the lid on a can of medic spray and reflects on the hazards of flying.
“None of us were sick before the plane flight from Perth,” she says, shoving the spray between the throat gargles and lozenges.
“The air conditioning systems on planes spread the germs I reckon.”
Eight year old Felix un-scrunches a tissue to blow his nose and throws it into the fire place, watching it explode into flame, then crumpling into ash.
Coffee tables once brimming with newspapers, books and iPads now hold eucalyptus infused tissue boxes.
An old wives’ tale says, we can test to see whether adults have a cold or the ‘flu by putting a $20 note on the ground.
If they cannot pick it up they have the flu. If they can, it’s only a cold.
Cough, cough, chough.
As the night air creeps under door cracks, the coughing gets worse.
Do I tell Trixi about the tales and remedies passed down through our generations to stop coughing?
A cure for night time coughing was vapour rub on the soles of the feet, covered with socks so as not to stain the bedding.
It seemed to work.
Gargling salt was meant to ease a sore throat and help rid the body of a cold.
An alternative was toast soaked in vinegar and strapped to the throat, as well as hot lemon and honey drinks.
Luckily, Felix does not seem sick or bothered by his cough.
According to Federally funded Health Direct, children get between five and 10 colds a year while adults get two to four, and there are more than 200 different viruses which can cause colds.
But the ‘flu is far more serious.
Annually, an estimated 13,500 people will be hospitalised from it and 3000 people aged over 50 years will die.
Meanwhile, one leading medic has been publicly urging people during the cold and ‘flu season to stay at home if they get sick.
He also urges people to avoid confined areas with lots of people like food courts, shops and guess where else?
Planes and airports.
• Chris Oldfield can be contacted by email at christobel47@borderwatch.com