By Raquel Mustillo
AFTER six decades without a permanent memorial, a new headstone and grave marks the plot of former Mount Gambier woman Edna May Gordon.
A poignant memorial recently took place at Mount Gambier’s Lake Terrace Cemetery as Ms Gordon’s children remembered their mother who was laid to rest in a ‘paupers grave’ after suddenly dying at 42 years old.
The occasion was one of mixed emotions for the family, who were placed into state care following the death of their mother in November 1957 due to being illegitimate children.
Newspaper reports at the time said the children, who ranged from two to 10 years of age, claimed the family had “practically no clothing” and were found with “a man who had been living with their mother”.
“Mum and Dad were not married, Dad had previously been married and took up with Mum, which was totally shunned upon back then,” brother Robert Curnow said.
“Dad tried to get us – in the only family court case that went back to State Parliament at the time – but he couldn’t because of the law.
“The court committed us to an institution and we got sent to Adelaide – the boys aged five years or older went to Glandore Boys Home and my brother Peter and the girls went to Seaforth Home.”
Mr Curnow, who was aged nine at the time, said his siblings were not cognisant of their mother’s death and their separation in the aftermath.
“For quite a few years, we basically ignored the whole situation because we didn’t know what had happened,” he said.
“I was nine and our older sister was 10, so we had no real idea what went on because it was such a flurry of people moving.
“Dad came to visit us at the boy’s home, but there was nothing he could do, so he told us he had to leave and we didn’t see him again.
“After time in Glandore, we were fostered out to other people – some of us got along and some of us didn’t, but eventually myself and my three brothers were adopted into one family.”
The family was largely separated for the better part of 30 years before Mr Curnow started a quest to find his three sisters and youngest brother.
Unable to directly access government records, Mr Curnow sought the help from not-for-profit organisations to find his siblings – including younger brother Peter Putsey – who was 27 months old when the family was separated.
In the early 90s, Mr Putsey received a phone call from Community Services advising him that his brother and sister were looking for him.
“I was silent and all I heard was a gasp and someone saying ‘you don’t know, do you’,” Mr Putsey said. “They said I had five brothers and two sisters and until then, I had no idea.
“It was hard for me because I had a terrific upbringing but my family had some very different lives – some very poor, some were involved in the National Redress Scheme after being sexually, mentally and physically abused.”
A majority of the family reunited in Adelaide in 1993, but were yet to find their oldest sister and the whereabouts of their father.
The family found out their father had passed away just one year earlier and was also buried in a pauper’s grave in a mass site near Albury.
Ultimately, the family found their oldest sister Ronda and the next year, all eight brothers and sisters were reunited for the first time in almost 50 years.
“We would have loved for our Dad to have been with us at the reunion, because we know Mum would have been there in spirit,” Mr Curnow said.
“After we all met, we decided as a family we should all contribute for getting Mum a grave top because for all of those years, she never had one.“While we had other mother’s after our mum passed away, our love for her never died.
“We wanted to make sure before we pass, we could honour her by putting a grave top and a headstone on her final resting place.”
Mr Curnow, Mr Putsey and their family members travelled from Adelaide to Mount Gambier last week to see the results of their efforts in procuring a grave covering.
“Mum’s death was a significant loss to us all and we are pleased with the fact that after 63 years, I can look at Mum’s grave and feel we have given her the best we could and we are happy for her now,” Mr Curnow said.
“All of us have had different lives – we were fostered, adopted and then we were free and we have all learnt that life is not easy and you have to make your own opportunities.
“We are glad to have had the opportunity to give Mum dignity in death.”
