IT TAKES courage to ask simply and directly “are you okay?” if you are concerned about someone’s mental health.
What if they are actually fine? Will they be offended? What do you do if they are not okay?
These are common concerns people have when it comes to asking a friend, colleague or loved one “are you okay?”
But when responding to someone who is doing it tough, a simple “I’m sorry to hear that” is a good response.
You might follow this up with “would you like to talk about it?” to open up the conversation if the time and situation is appropriate.
If not, agree on a more suitable time to talk.
Sometimes it can help to mention any changes you have seen that have caused concern.
For example, if someone seems more withdrawn than normal (which can be a symptom of depression) you could say “I’ve noticed that you have not wanted to come out much lately. Is there something worrying you?”
There is great comfort to be given by simply listening and caring.
There are often too few opportunities in our busy lives for connections based on these simple kindnesses.
Sometimes, too, people find it easier to talk when doing something like going for a walk, rather than sitting across a table from someone.
Focus on asking questions rather than trying to provide answers.
Giving people a chance to share their experiences and voice their concerns without judgement is of great benefit.
It helps people to feel less alone and more hopeful.
Remember that responsibility for finding solutions does not lie with you.
The best solutions are generally reached by the person themselves.
If someone is thinking about suicide, it’s especially important they know that help is available.
Lifeline has support available 24 hours a day or in an emergency call 000.
It is possible for the person you care about to respond with a “yeah, I’m okay”.
If you’re not convinced, let them know that you are always available should they want to talk.
It’s worth sending them an email or text a few hours later reiterating your support.
By keeping the door open you will make it easier for them to connect and open up in the future.
Remember a conversation could change a life and the simple gesture of compassion can have a profound effect on someone who is going through tough times.
For more information on helping a friend or loved one, contact SANE Australia.
