By Graham Greenwood
MY first association with a mobile telephone was back in 1988 when playing for Grange Cricket Club.
One of the so-called batting stars of the team who had just dropped down from district level had acquired a “new toy” called a mobile phone.
It was the size of a brick, weighed just as much, was just as effective and he walked around cricket practice all evening holding the phone to his ear, pretending to make business deals with people around the country.
I know the old joke that says that when he was pretending to talk with someone the phone actually rang – that did not happen but it was obvious he was showing off his new toy.
Certainly no-one believed that toy would later become such an essential part of life.
I got my first mobile phone when working as editor-in-chief in Perth.
I remember it was just before I took charge of a new company vehicle.
My manager Trish Seeney was keen to take a look at the new car which was parked downstairs in the company car park.
After returning to my office she said, “Nice car, love the broken side window”.
Yes, I had left the mobile phone in the cradle inside the car and in the mid 1990s phones were a luxury item which thieves could either use or sell for their benefit.
They had stolen the phone so I was in hot water for not only losing the phone but having to have a day-old car returned for repairs.
When I retired as manager of The Border Watch in 2005 I decided against a mobile phone.
I did not want the intrusion of people contacting me at various times, particularly when playing golf!
Of course my wife Shanna became my receptionist and was forever taking messages.
Despite her constant pleas I refused to move from the pre-historic world of the dinosaurs into the modern world of technology.
I believed I had made a huge concession when I finally had e-mail connected back in 2011.
I had taken the first step into an unknown world.
Then, two years ago, in a fit of madness I agreed to Shanna buying an Ipad and she suddenly became an “IT expert”.
In reality she is still on her “L’s”.
I am not sure how other husbands fare with their wives but when my wife sets her mind on something she wants to happen, it will, come hell or high water.
Of course, I am as difficult as I am stubborn and know how to play the game so for the last two years I withstood the continuous barbs from my wife and friends about having no mobile phone.
Finally, I knew I was done, defeated, so reluctantly went to Telstra and took charge of a mobile phone.
My excited wife then sent out this message to most of my contacts telling them “Graham’s connected”.
The message said: “Hello everyone, I am calling to let you know Graham is now out of the dinosaur age and has finally got a mobile phone.
“I know you will be happy (but none more than I) that you will be able to contact him directly, instead of having me to pass on your calls after he returns home.
“Once he gets his head around trying to work out how his mobile works I am sure he would appreciate your call.
“His number is a simple one which even he can remember”.
The replies soon came in ranging from, “welcome T-Rex” to “now you have nowhere to hide”.
The first to ring me was lawyer Bill DeGaris asking whether I wanted my will updated and the mobile included.
Anyway, now I am armed and dangerous, well, I soon will be once I work out how to switch on the damn thing.
Footnote: Now I have a mobile, I no longer need a receptionist, so my wife is unemployed – I told her to resign so it would look better on her CV – anyone seeking a receptionist should give me a call on my mobile!
