WHEN people see a child throwing a tantrum in public they often put it down to bad behaviour.
Former Millicent resident Jess Ey knows this all too well, except her children’s behaviour is beyond their control.
Raising three boys with autism, Ms Ey has a new outlook on life and keeps an open mind.
Kallan, 11, Campbell, 10, and six-year-old Patrick were all diagnosed with the neural development disorder which affects the way they communicate and relate to people around them.
Alarm bells rang for Ms Ey and her husband Jeff when Kallan was two years old and was still not saying any words.
“We visited a hearing specialist and when his hearing was 100pc they referred us to a development paediatrician,” she said.
“She visited us at home and immediately became concerned about Campbell, more so than Kallan.
“Campbell’s obsession and unusual walking style on tip toes were her concerns.
“Both boys showed impaired social skills and unusual and strong obsessions.”
Kallan was subsequently diagnosed with a severe speech and language disorder and in following years with autism and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
Campbell was diagnosed with mild functioning autism at three years old.
The more severe of the three however was Patrick.
He was diagnosed when he was two years old after he displayed the same toe walking symptoms and lack of social skills, including interacting with his parents.
He has severe non-verbal autism, ADHD and an intellectual disability.
Ms Ey says life as a mother of three autistic children is “certainly a lot busier and noisier” and had affected her own mental health.
“It has made me a lot more organised and anxious,” she said.
“Recently being diagnosed with mild depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder and anxiety disorder, I have learnt that I also need to look after myself to look after the boys.
“My perspective on the things that are and are not important has also changed, as well as the way I judge other children out in public.”
The biggest challenge Ms Ey faced has been Patrick’s lack of communication and the severity of his autism.
“It can make it very hard to live an everyday life and attend certain outings as a family,” she said.
“We recently organised a carer that comes to our house and looks afer Patrick for three hours a week.
“This means we can do fun things with the older children such as go to a movie, to the library or out for lunch or tea.”
Despite the challenges, like any other mother Ms Ey has had triumphs and milestones, including the development of Kallan and Campbell’s communication and toilet training.
After two years of working with Patrick, she finally found him using the sign for “more” and “please”.
“This has been a huge barrier to overcome and has made his life a bit better having even just two words,” she said.
Her daily schedule is now also more similar to any other parents with household duties and school runs.
Autism aside, the boys, like any other children their age, have hobbies and interests.
Kallan has a large group of friends, enjoys playing soccer and video games online, reads books and loves nature and going for bush walks.
Campbell has strong obsessions for anything involving transport.
“Buses, trains, planes, rockets, cars, ships, boats and maps – you name it, he knows all about it,” Ms Ey said.
“Lately he has enjoyed watching the television series Air Crash Investigation, and he also loves going on Google Maps and looking up all the different places and redrawing them.
“Recently a trip across the Nullarbor was very exiting for Campbell because he could look up our journey, draw it and know exactly where we were going.”
Meanwhile, Patrick loves bike riding and although he cannot ride a bike alone, he sits on one that is attached to his father’s.
He also recently started at Riding for the Disabled, riding specially trained horses and instructors.
“Patrick goes every Wednesday and he loves it,” Ms Ey said.
“He spends a whole hour riding the horse, which for him is a very long time.”
Next month is Autism Awareness Month in Australia and for Ms Ey national campaigns like these are vital in raising awareness.
She also maintains an online blog “Extraordinarily Ordinary”, which includes posts about her everyday life, raising the three boys and her challenges and triumphs.
“I started the blog to raise awareness and show people a glimpse into what living with autism is like – the honest ups and downs of it all, ” she said.
“People seem to enjoy my writing although, I sometimes find it hard to get to the computer and write things out.”
